The Motive

If the motive was to make me never want to speak to you again, you have flawlessly succeeded.

I was willing to overlook everything for the sake of starting fresh and most of all, learning from my mistakes. But it seems I'm the only one that learned anything.

You should go back to "forgetting"; at least then you reminded me of the person I met and not remind me why I don't talk to you now.

I wish those negative voices in my head were wrong... I wish I wasn't so disappointed when in some way I knew all along

i’d like to have a soul-shaking affair with you...

we’d fall in lust willingly,
knowingly mistaking love for the hell of it

being alive is what we’d call it
when it blew us to smitherines.

id awake forever changed…
and satisfyingly validated.

Thursday..

on the surface, this is "throwback thursday"

I'd post pictures of myself as a child or myself in general...

But today,

on the inside,

I just want to post every picture of us.

I hid them from myself so I wont do that.

the thought of losing what we had cuts deep like a knife...

on that very same thought, it only makes me want to work harder,

be better

not fall back into wallowing over lost love.

I refuse to torture myself anymore than I have to.

I keep reminding myself that everything will work out.

If that means no us,

so be it,

even though my hearts in a cage starving for it.