Fake It Like You Mean It

As I lay me down to sleep
This I pray
That you will hold me dear
Though I'm far away
I'll whisper your name
Into the sky
And I will wake up [unhappy]

...

For some reason, this song popped into my head.

I used to really love to hear this song when I was younger..

But now, for all the reasons I can think of, it's in my head, right now.

I hate talking about myself, I feel like the self-centered jerk I am.

Every day and every night, I send silent prayers

though I know prayers and wishes are for the weak minded

and if I want something to happen,

I should do it myself,

but I'm sick of being the one to reach out,

making myself vulnerable

and ultimately being hung out to dry.

Fact of the matter is, with all that I'm doing now, something's still missing.

It's not her, it's the feeling she gave me.

I won't, there for I can't.